Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
