my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
