you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
