Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
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You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
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Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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