you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
