he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
