We should be called the Road Head Warriors
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
