Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize