Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
