Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I party with great urgency now.
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