So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
