Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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