Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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