We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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