so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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