Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
