I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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