is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
