Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
