I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
