the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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