I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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