hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
