The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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