sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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