Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
