we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize