he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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