your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
