He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
