You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize