i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
