New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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