im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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