Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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