I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
