She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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