Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
