id be glad to
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize