in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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