I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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