I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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