Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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