i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
