Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
