Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize