My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
