Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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