I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
