My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
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you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
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There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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