Someone shit on the floor
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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