he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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