I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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