So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
