Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
