Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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